tfw u sent ur mom ur ig password but she didn’t change her password so u still get a 404 whenever u try to log in

dream

the best way not to get fired is to never work

andrewchen

Cybertruck will be amphibious for short distances, able to travel between small islands

Elon Musk

“My parents wanted me to be a doctor or a lawyer so I studied science...” - that doctor is gonna be dead in 5 years

mesh509

i once saw a 5 year old get made fun of for saying hes a wizard

wint

You are allowed to piss on anyone you want now.

Mark

i died 2 years ago & im still here, i remeber everything (except for 9/11)

guys im gonna try something. im gonna open this boi with a quote from the bible. im not gonna say who said it, im not gonna say

Maggdalene

im trying to think of a way to create another 3 letter word. got nothing.

Just been banned from the Apple Store for filming a 5 minute video on how to take apart a Macbook Pro

TommyInnit

i have serious doubts about the existence of god because every time I see him or hear his voice he sounds like someone's uncle

𝓂𝓈. 𝓅𝒶𝓉𝒽

Never tweet anything you wouldn’t want the whole world to see.

I don't like you. I don't like you. I don't like you

Shaan Puri

okay, so this video is gonna be about george, and I wanna talk about george, because today is not George Day, it’s George Day, so I’m gonna talk about george today, okay

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