dream

Just sold my soul to satan for 1 million dollars

Ranboo

Elon Musk

i can’t believe the supreme court voted for 2 states to have the same right as the other 49. now they can force women to get abortions.

hasanabi

Went to a weed shop for the first time in my life and couldn’t believe how much weed costs.

I feel old.

omg I’m getting a hair cut 😂😂😂

Quackity

wint

You are allowed to piss on anyone you want now.

Mark

I will pay no attention to what the media says about me, because propaganda is as evil as anything I’ve ever done

just found out my parents have been lying about being dead for 22 years. i still love you mom and dad.

TommyInnit

Okay so I finally did locktober and it was fun :)
But damn I like this one.

I have a ton of them.

Little Hammy

1. You have never lived until you've slept on a park bench.
2. A walk in the woods makes a man feel healthier and happier.
3. A walk in the woods makes 2 men feel healthier and happier.
4. A walk in the woods makes 3 men feel healthier and happier.
5. A walk in the woods makes 4

Wilbur Soot

im in jail for stapling a bunch of money together. i wish i had the bail money

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2.

i’ve been asleep for 20 hours. i’m pretty sure i have no brain function anymore.

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