i don’t understand why my professors assign 3 pages of reading for a lecture that’s supposed to be 45 minutes

david 🧋

(karma) if you knew me in real life you would know that i’m really kind hearted and generous

genetically engineered online girl

So, this is what happens when you're running out of ideas for your SMP.

Kaz ♛

So, I have 3 things to say to the youtube community.

Ranboo

how am i supposed to know i’m not eating a cockroach if no one tells me

Now this just in, the 2 year old's birthday party was a success, they ate 16 salmon salad sandwiches, ate 12 pieces of cake, and drank 2 pitchers of juice

Ryan Letourneau

prezoh

A girl asked “why are you so short?”

I said “because I am”

She said “well why do you keep hitting me in the head”

I said “because you’re taller than me”

She said “but I’m a girl”

I said “what difference does that make”

She said “I’m going to report you”

I said “well go ahead”

(looking at picture of daughter next to stack of cash) nice. shes getting so big *looks at daughter again* whats she doing?

wint

my mother just asked me if I was ok and I told her I was perfect

dream

its like i cant even but with more profanity.

Left my keys in an Uber. I guess this makes me a Dumbass

TommyInnit

Went to a weed shop for the first time in my life and couldn’t believe how much weed costs.

I feel old.

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