Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me?

@levelsio

i havent been getting laid in over a year. im not angry. im just disappointed.

wint

obama's 2008 acceptance speech was the 1st time i cried watching a president speak.

hasanabi

i once saw a 5 year old get made fun of for saying hes a wizard

So, this is what happens when you're running out of ideas for your SMP.

Kaz ♛

Ranboo

i don’t understand why my professors assign 3 pages of reading for a lecture that’s supposed to be 45 minutes

david 🧋

Just sold my soul to satan for 1 million dollars

i bet if youre a democrat, youve never loved someone more than you love the government.

Now this just in, the 2 year old's birthday party was a success, they ate 16 salmon salad sandwiches, ate 12 pieces of cake, and drank 2 pitchers of juice

Ryan Letourneau

Whenever someone criticizes capitalism, I can’t help but think of this:

The 2020 Tesla Roadster will be the fastest production car ever made. With 0 to 60 mph in 1.9 sec, 620 mile range, and 10,000 lb of downforce via active suspension, it will be the first true 21st century car. Production begins in 2020, so order

Elon Musk

dream

A $100 bill isn’t worth anything. You can frame it, but that’s about it.

Tweet Hunter

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