Went to a weed shop for the first time in my life and couldn’t believe how much weed costs.

I feel old.

Ranboo

im gonna start a business selling Ketchup of Sadness

wint

I will kill spam, remove bots & trolls & give you a voice in social media

Elon Musk

im not lying when i say i own a $50000,000,000 hedge fund that mines asteroids for gold. i simply havent told anyone yet

its like i cant even but with more profanity.

Whenever someone criticizes capitalism, I can’t help but think of this:

The 2020 Tesla Roadster will be the fastest production car ever made. With 0 to 60 mph in 1.9 sec, 620 mile range, and 10,000 lb of downforce via active suspension, it will be the first true 21st century car. Production begins in 2020, so order

2016: minecraft is life. 2017: minecraft is life. 2018: minecraft is life. 2019: minecraft is life. 2020: minecraft is life. 2021: minecraft is life. 2022: minecraft is life. 2023: minecraft is life. 2024: minecraft

TommyInnit

i havent been getting laid in over a year. im not angry. im just disappointed.

how am i supposed to know i’m not eating a cockroach if no one tells me

david 🧋

1. You have never lived until you've slept on a park bench.
2. A walk in the woods makes a man feel healthier and happier.
3. A walk in the woods makes 2 men feel healthier and happier.
4. A walk in the woods makes 3 men feel healthier and happier.
5. A walk in the woods makes 4

Wilbur Soot

i dont get why u dont just buy urself a 9/11 santa suit and wear it on 9/11

i bet if youre a democrat, youve never loved someone more than you love the government.

That's why today, I signed into law the Women’s Equality Act.

President Biden

just realized i’ve been taking laxatives since high school

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