A 5-year-old girl just asked me: “Why does Twitter have so many fake accounts?”

Elon Musk

omg queen elizabeth i still remember the day you were born

prezoh

the FBI just kicked my door in looking for the 2 fugitives, 2 fugitives?!?

tehlamb

do u guys think its weird that i have 3 different accounts on twitter?

david 🧋

HEY GUYS, JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW THAT I AM NOT DEAD. THE CHANNEL IS STILL GOING ON AND I STILL POST VIDEOS EVERY DAY.

Technoblade

I’m watching an old episode of The Office, and Dwight is talking to an Amish dude. The Amish dude says “I don’t understand, what are you doin’?” Dwight says “I’m going door to door selling vacuum cleaners.” The Amish dude says “You mean you’re a salesman?” Dwight says “No, I’m a vacuum salesman.”

Jerma

i can’t believe the supreme court voted for 2 states to have the same right as the other 49. now they can force women to get abortions.

hasanabi

11:30pm and i’m already picking out my outfit for tomorrow

i lied to myself for so long that i was normal and that i had something to offer the world

The claw machine gave me a unicorn today, and my unicorn was unhappy about it.

So I took it back.

Ranboo

Yesterday I went to Google HQ with a fake bomb threat and a bunch of cops showed up. (I got escorted out). They told me that Google has a zero-tolerance policy regarding bomb threats, and that if I make another bomb threat in the next six months I will permanently be banned from Google.

Keffals

just had a meltdown after my dad made me get a haircut. it was traumatic.

TommyInnit

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