You are allowed to piss on anyone you want now.

Mark

America, I’m back and what’s more I’m armed and dangerous.

TommyInnit

i feel like i should feel guilty for doing this but i definitely dont

i’ve been writing in invisible ink this whole time

Ranboo is the only person I know who can do 1+1=5

BREAKING: senator joe biden has tested positive for covid

i am so sexy and funny and weird and misunderstood and horny and sad and angry and cool and just generally awesome

obama's 2008 acceptance speech was the 1st time i cried watching a president speak.

The emerging field of social media manipulation is too dangerous to be ignored. I will be dedicating more resources to this problem

the FBI just kicked my door in looking for the 2 fugitives, 2 fugitives?!?

The claw machine gave me a unicorn today, and my unicorn was unhappy about it.

So I took it back.

Just walked by a guy with 10 different phones and 10 different headphones

how am i supposed to know i’m not eating a cockroach if no one tells me