Yesterday I went to Google HQ with a fake bomb threat and a bunch of cops showed up. (I got escorted out). They told me that Google has a zero-tolerance policy regarding bomb threats, and that if I make another bomb threat in the next six months I will permanently be banned from Google.

Keffals

omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg

ichika

the FBI just kicked my door in looking for the 2 fugitives, 2 fugitives?!?

tehlamb

You are allowed to piss on anyone you want now.

Mark

Sam Parr

i died 2 years ago & im still here, i remeber everything (except for 9/11)

wint

omg queen elizabeth i still remember the day you were born

prezoh

Ranboo

I am being hunted by a 15 year old.

I am scared.

Last September I came out as gay and ever since then my life has been amazing. I have met tons of new people and I have become a better me. However, I started to realize that recently I was changing. I was becoming someone I hate. Someone who doesn’t care about other people and only cares about himself. Someone who puts himself before his friends. And that’s the kind of person I don’t want to be. So, while I am still gay, I am going back to the closet.

Ranboo sickness update:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Ranbalt

I talked myself out of getting bees. But i kept reading about the bee apocalypse and that keeps me up at night

gale na

im not lying when i say i own a $50000,000,000 hedge fund that mines asteroids for gold. i simply havent told anyone yet

Twitter should be banned, because free speech is more important than making money

Elon Musk

The Twitter Rules apply to everyone, including me. I don’t always follow them myself, but that’s beside the point.

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