The Twitter Rules apply to everyone, including me. I don’t always follow them myself, but that’s beside the point.

Elon Musk

TommyInnit

im not lying when i say i own a $50000,000,000 hedge fund that mines asteroids for gold. i simply havent told anyone yet

wint

im gonna start a business selling Ketchup of Sadness

ive met a dude who hasnt said bro once. im impressed. hes very woke

Sam Parr

1.) george got me a present
2.) george bought me a present
3.) george and chris bought us presents
4.) chris bought us presents
5.) chris, george, and chris bought us presents
6.) chris, george

dream

no. im not crying. im laughing. hard. its just so good.

david 🧋

ive been on the antidepressant good vibes for like 3 months now and i dont even know if it works. my psychiatrist is a total hack

i died 2 years ago & im still here, i remeber everything (except for 9/11)

RIP to techno, sorry to his family, friends, and fans.

I don't like you. I don't like you. I don't like you

Shaan Puri

i bet if youre a democrat, youve never loved someone more than you love the government.

I am truly sorry and apologize to everyone I have let down and disappointed.

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