prezoh

I’M NOT ALLOWED TO SAY WHATEVER I WANT ... BUT I’M ALLOWED TO SAY WHATEVER I WANT

i have serious doubts about the existence of god because every time I see him or hear his voice he sounds like someone's uncle

𝓂𝓈. 𝓅𝒶𝓉𝒽

1. You have never lived until you've slept on a park bench.
2. A walk in the woods makes a man feel healthier and happier.
3. A walk in the woods makes 2 men feel healthier and happier.
4. A walk in the woods makes 3 men feel healthier and happier.
5. A walk in the woods makes 4

Wilbur Soot

America, I’m back and what’s more I’m armed and dangerous.

TommyInnit

Elon Musk

Now this just in, the 2 year old's birthday party was a success, they ate 16 salmon salad sandwiches, ate 12 pieces of cake, and drank 2 pitchers of juice

Ryan Letourneau

i dont get why u dont just buy urself a 9/11 santa suit and wear it on 9/11

wint

how am i supposed to know i’m not eating a cockroach if no one tells me

david 🧋

...i'm not saying we can never make another star wars movie but if we do, i'm dead...

Morgan 🏳️‍⚧️ (doom patrol enjoyer)

just realized the 2 highest grossing movies of all time are ice age and ice age 2

Ranboo

Ranboo is the only person I know who can do 1+1=5

Spade

I don't like you. I don't like you. I don't like you

Shaan Puri

just found out my parents have been lying about being dead for 22 years. i still love you mom and dad.

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