i wish i could just accost people on the street and be like “hey, you’re handsome”

david 🧋

ive been on the antidepressant good vibes for like 3 months now and i dont even know if it works. my psychiatrist is a total hack

wint

RIP to techno, sorry to his family, friends, and fans.

dream

Whenever someone criticizes capitalism, I can’t help but think of this:

The 2020 Tesla Roadster will be the fastest production car ever made. With 0 to 60 mph in 1.9 sec, 620 mile range, and 10,000 lb of downforce via active suspension, it will be the first true 21st century car. Production begins in 2020, so order

Elon Musk

polar

im gonna start a business selling Ketchup of Sadness

2016: minecraft is life. 2017: minecraft is life. 2018: minecraft is life. 2019: minecraft is life. 2020: minecraft is life. 2021: minecraft is life. 2022: minecraft is life. 2023: minecraft is life. 2024: minecraft

TommyInnit

A girl asked “why are you so short?”

I said “because I am”

She said “well why do you keep hitting me in the head”

I said “because you’re taller than me”

She said “but I’m a girl”

I said “what difference does that make”

She said “I’m going to report you”

I said “well go ahead”

Ranboo

Just finished reading a biography of Henry David Thoreau and realized that Thoreau was America's first hippie

Glass Bead Gamer

im in jail for stapling a bunch of money together. i wish i had the bail money

youve probably heard internet trolls are the new terrorists well guess what im internet terrorists

@levelsio

i have serious doubts about the existence of god because every time I see him or hear his voice he sounds like someone's uncle

𝓂𝓈. 𝓅𝒶𝓉𝒽

i once saw a 5 year old get made fun of for saying hes a wizard

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