guys im gonna try something. im gonna open this boi with a quote from the bible. im not gonna say who said it, im not gonna say

wint

im in jail for stapling a bunch of money together. i wish i had the bail money

11:30pm and i’m already picking out my outfit for tomorrow

david 🧋

Never tweet anything you wouldn’t want the whole world to see.

Elon Musk

(karma) if you knew me in real life you would know that i’m really kind hearted and generous

genetically engineered online girl

(sending you a cease and desist) please take this as a compliment

A word from Georgette: This dress was a surprise present from my husband for our first wedding anniversary. It was made to measure and fits perfectly.
The dress was made in 2 pieces, the bodice and skirt. The dress has a fitted bodice with a ruffle around the neckline and straps. The skirt is gathered to the waist and flares out slightly. The skirt has a tulle underskirt with a satin border.

dream

Left my keys in an Uber. I guess this makes me a Dumbass

TommyInnit

1. 5 y/o boy with no friends
2. 13 y/o girl with no friends
3. 17 y/o boy with no friends
4. 18 y/o girl with no friends
5. 21 y/o boy with no friends
6.

i havent been getting laid in over a year. im not angry. im just disappointed.

“My parents wanted me to be a doctor or a lawyer so I studied science...” - that doctor is gonna be dead in 5 years

mesh509

i bet if youre a democrat, youve never loved someone more than you love the government.

i dont get why u dont just buy urself a 9/11 santa suit and wear it on 9/11

(looking at picture of daughter next to stack of cash) nice. shes getting so big *looks at daughter again* whats she doing?

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