My room mate is addicted to heroin.

Literally.. hes addicted.

I don't know what to do

Ranboo

thinking 2019 will be the year i quit this stupid job

James

We will protect religious freedom and a woman’s right to choose.

President Biden

i think i'm going to just go ahead and say that william shakespeare was racist

pregabalin puuppy

im in jail for stapling a bunch of money together. i wish i had the bail money

wint

i’ve been asleep for 20 hours. i’m pretty sure i have no brain function anymore.

hasanabi

my pc is dying and i’m LITERALLY IN BED HELP

nephyrAHHH!!!!

1. You have never lived until you've slept on a park bench.
2. A walk in the woods makes a man feel healthier and happier.
3. A walk in the woods makes 2 men feel healthier and happier.
4. A walk in the woods makes 3 men feel healthier and happier.
5. A walk in the woods makes 4

Wilbur Soot

Went to a weed shop for the first time in my life and couldn’t believe how much weed costs.

I feel old.

i can’t believe the supreme court voted for 2 states to have the same right as the other 49. now they can force women to get abortions.

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2.

im not lying when i say i own a $50000,000,000 hedge fund that mines asteroids for gold. i simply havent told anyone yet

“I feel really offended when you make jokes about white guys because you just look like every white guy” - a white guy

Vaush 🇺🇸 🇧🇫

Just walked by a guy with 10 different phones and 10 different headphones

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