I want to apologize to that girl that stole my picture and posted it on her Instagram.

Ranboo

We will protect religious freedom and a woman’s right to choose.

President Biden

You are allowed to piss on anyone you want now.

Left my keys in an Uber. I guess this makes me a Dumbass

if im not dead in 10 years ill conquer the world, make deals with russia, and become the 2nd coming of jesus

im not lying when i say i own a $50000,000,000 hedge fund that mines asteroids for gold. i simply havent told anyone yet

im gonna start a business selling Ketchup of Sadness

thinking 2019 will be the year i quit this stupid job

im in jail for stapling a bunch of money together. i wish i had the bail money

im getting so tired of jordan peterson that im gonna start calling him jordan jenkins

i’ve been asleep for 20 hours. i’m pretty sure i have no brain function anymore.

the FBI just kicked my door in looking for the 2 fugitives, 2 fugitives?!?