ive met a dude who hasnt said bro once. im impressed. hes very woke

wint

if im not dead in 10 years ill conquer the world, make deals with russia, and become the 2nd coming of jesus

Vaush 🇺🇸 🇧🇫

i once saw a 5 year old get made fun of for saying hes a wizard

omg i love it when the cheese in the cheezits gets hard

thinking 2019 will be the year i quit this stupid job

Left my keys in an Uber. I guess this makes me a Dumbass

just found out my parents have been lying about being dead for 22 years. i still love you mom and dad.

in 5 years time im going to be a millionaire

Hey thanks you guys for being here it means a lot to me

i have serious doubts about the existence of god because every time I see him or hear his voice he sounds like someone's uncle

I just realized I am no longer a teenager