omg i love it when the cheese in the cheezits gets hard

david 🧋

obama's 2008 acceptance speech was the 1st time i cried watching a president speak.

hasanabi

Today I am announcing my retirement from gaming. I've been a gamer my whole life and always dreamed that one day I could make a living doing what I love. However, recently I've realized that I cannot compete with some of the bigger guys out there.

Ranboo

A girl asked “why are you so short?”

I said “because I am”

She said “well why do you keep hitting me in the head”

I said “because you’re taller than me”

She said “but I’m a girl”

I said “what difference does that make”

She said “I’m going to report you”

I said “well go ahead”

George

Bip 🦔

i’ve been asleep for 20 hours. i’m pretty sure i have no brain function anymore.

how am I supposed to get super high when I can’t smoke weed

little lord fuckleroy

how am i supposed to know i’m not eating a cockroach if no one tells me

1. how i became a millionaire
2. how i became a millionaire part 2
3. how i became a millionaire part 3
4. how i became a millionaire part 4
5. how i became a millionaire part 5
6. how i became a millionaire part 6
7. how i became

dream

im not lying when i say i own a $50000,000,000 hedge fund that mines asteroids for gold. i simply havent told anyone yet

wint

i just have one of those faces that men want to explain stuff to

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