ive been lying in bed all day thinking about how i hate math

david 🧋

“My parents wanted me to be a doctor or a lawyer so I studied science...” - that doctor is gonna be dead in 5 years

mesh509

im in jail for stapling a bunch of money together. i wish i had the bail money

wint

I’m just gonna say it, if the world ended right now I’d probably be fine. I’m such a nihilist

The Scarlet Pumpernickel

TommyInnit

my 2 year old is watching me play minecraft and im like ok, Im going to kill this dragon and he goes no daddy, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

i walked into a police station and they said do you work here? I said i do now

I don’t know what to do anymore

I have thought long and hard and decided that I will die today

Ranbalt

just found out my parents have been lying about being dead for 22 years. i still love you mom and dad.

good afternoon everyone, this is your last chance...

Jack Butcher

Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me?

@levelsio

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh RANBOO !!!!!

count noa ✡︎ 🧛‍♀️

im not lying when i say i own a $50000,000,000 hedge fund that mines asteroids for gold. i simply havent told anyone yet

The claw machine gave me a unicorn today, and my unicorn was unhappy about it.

So I took it back.

Ranboo

5 years in. 5 more years to go. Let’s see what happens.

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