void emily () {}

I talked myself out of getting bees. But i kept reading about the bee apocalypse and that keeps me up at night

gale na

if im not dead in 10 years ill conquer the world, make deals with russia, and become the 2nd coming of jesus

wint

I want to apologize to that girl that stole my picture and posted it on her Instagram.

Ranboo

i died 2 years ago & im still here, i remeber everything (except for 9/11)

just found out my parents have been lying about being dead for 22 years. i still love you mom and dad.

TommyInnit

so tbh, i’ve never hated anyone as much as i do taylor swift.

david 🧋

After years of praying to god I finally have my answer.

Thank you lord

the FBI just kicked my door in looking for the 2 fugitives, 2 fugitives?!?

tehlamb

my 2 year old is watching me play minecraft and im like ok, Im going to kill this dragon and he goes no daddy, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

Okay so I finally did locktober and it was fun :)
But damn I like this one.

I have a ton of them.

Little Hammy

When was the last time you felt really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really

Sam Parr

The emerging field of social media manipulation is too dangerous to be ignored. I will be dedicating more resources to this problem

Elon Musk

i have serious doubts about the existence of god because every time I see him or hear his voice he sounds like someone's uncle

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