im getting so tired of jordan peterson that im gonna start calling him jordan jenkins

wint

i lied to myself for so long that i was normal and that i had something to offer the world

david 🧋

A river is flowing ....
A river is flowing ...
A river is flowing ...
A river is flowing ...

i once saw a 5 year old get made fun of for saying hes a wizard

Just been banned from the Apple Store for filming a 5 minute video on how to take apart a Macbook Pro

The claw machine gave me a unicorn today, and my unicorn was unhappy about it.

So I took it back.

Just sold my soul to satan for 1 million dollars

i can’t believe the supreme court voted for 2 states to have the same right as the other 49. now they can force women to get abortions.

what if instead of banning all guns, we banned all BULLETS??

im not lying when i say i own a $50000,000,000 hedge fund that mines asteroids for gold. i simply havent told anyone yet

i dont get why u dont just buy urself a 9/11 santa suit and wear it on 9/11

ive been reading shakespeare since i was 10 and ive never gotten bored

i walked into a police station and they said do you work here? I said i do now