i wish i could just accost people on the street and be like “hey, you’re handsome”

david 🧋

A $100 bill isn’t worth anything. You can frame it, but that’s about it.

Elon Musk

I’M NOT ALLOWED TO SAY WHATEVER I WANT ... BUT I’M ALLOWED TO SAY WHATEVER I WANT

ive been on the antidepressant good vibes for like 3 months now and i dont even know if it works. my psychiatrist is a total hack

Just finished reading a biography of Henry David Thoreau and realized that Thoreau was America's first hippie

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Just walked by a guy with 10 different phones and 10 different headphones

(looking at picture of daughter next to stack of cash) nice. shes getting so big *looks at daughter again* whats she doing?

i bet if youre a democrat, youve never loved someone more than you love the government.

lrt the Jojo characters have my dream job.

lrt the only school-related thing I like is school parties.

how am i supposed to know i’m not eating a cockroach if no one tells me

i’ve been writing in invisible ink this whole time

So, this is what happens when you're running out of ideas for your SMP.

no. im not crying. im laughing. hard. its just so good.