The claw machine gave me a unicorn today, and my unicorn was unhappy about it.

So I took it back.

Ranboo

Maggdalene

Left my keys in an Uber. I guess this makes me a Dumbass

i bet if youre a democrat, youve never loved someone more than you love the government.

my 2 year old is watching me play minecraft and im like ok, Im going to kill this dragon and he goes no daddy, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

my pc is dying and i’m LITERALLY IN BED HELP

im getting so tired of jordan peterson that im gonna start calling him jordan jenkins

1st anniv of me doing this job :D

Thank you guys so much for everything :D

i havent been getting laid in over a year. im not angry. im just disappointed.

i have serious doubts about the existence of god because every time I see him or hear his voice he sounds like someone's uncle

i wish i could drink 1 liter of 7up then 1 liter of coke then 1 liter of pepsi then 1 liter of sprite

I am an angry man. I will destroy everything in my world. For I am the Punisher.

Cybertruck will be amphibious for short distances, able to travel between small islands