Oh jesus, I'm too mentally tired for this.

silly billy

Left my keys in an Uber. I guess this makes me a Dumbass

TommyInnit

thinking 2019 will be the year i quit this stupid job

James

Today I am announcing my retirement from gaming. I've been a gamer my whole life and always dreamed that one day I could make a living doing what I love. However, recently I've realized that I cannot compete with some of the bigger guys out there.

Ranboo

Last September I came out as gay and ever since then my life has been amazing. I have met tons of new people and I have become a better me. However, I started to realize that recently I was changing. I was becoming someone I hate. Someone who doesn’t care about other people and only cares about himself. Someone who puts himself before his friends. And that’s the kind of person I don’t want to be. So, while I am still gay, I am going back to the closet.

the FBI just kicked my door in looking for the 2 fugitives, 2 fugitives?!?

tehlamb

its like i cant even but with more profanity.

wint

so tbh, i’ve never hated anyone as much as i do taylor swift.

david 🧋

Yesterday I went to Google HQ with a fake bomb threat and a bunch of cops showed up. (I got escorted out). They told me that Google has a zero-tolerance policy regarding bomb threats, and that if I make another bomb threat in the next six months I will permanently be banned from Google.

Keffals

“I feel really offended when you make jokes about white guys because you just look like every white guy” - a white guy

Vaush 🇺🇸 🇧🇫

omg I’m getting a hair cut 😂😂😂

Quackity

i hate that mcc bc i hate that mcc bc i hate that mcc bc i hate that mcc bc i hate that mcc bc i hate that mcc bc i hate that mcc bc i hate that mcc bc i hate that mcc bc i hate that mcc

soph(antom) 👻🐷 | TOTK IN 200 DAYS!

Just walked by a guy with 10 different phones and 10 different headphones

Ryan Letourneau

i am so sexy and funny and weird and misunderstood and horny and sad and angry and cool and just generally awesome

genetically engineered online girl

This is me, and anyone who disagrees with me is a bot.

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