ive met a dude who hasnt said bro once. im impressed. hes very woke

wint

im getting so tired of jordan peterson that im gonna start calling him jordan jenkins

After years of praying to god I finally have my answer.

Thank you lord

Ranboo

if im not dead in 10 years ill conquer the world, make deals with russia, and become the 2nd coming of jesus

The Twitter Rules apply to everyone, including me. I don’t always follow them myself, but that’s beside the point.

Elon Musk

omg I’m getting a hair cut 😂😂😂

Quackity

Last September I came out as gay and ever since then my life has been amazing. I have met tons of new people and I have become a better me. However, I started to realize that recently I was changing. I was becoming someone I hate. Someone who doesn’t care about other people and only cares about himself. Someone who puts himself before his friends. And that’s the kind of person I don’t want to be. So, while I am still gay, I am going back to the closet.

hasanabi

just found out my parents have been lying about being dead for 22 years. i still love you mom and dad.

TommyInnit

Twitter should be banned, because free speech is more important than making money

omg queen elizabeth i still remember the day you were born

prezoh

“I feel really offended when you make jokes about white guys because you just look like every white guy” - a white guy

Vaush 🇺🇸 🇧🇫

the best way not to get fired is to never work

andrewchen

i walked into a police station and they said do you work here? I said i do now

I don't like you. I don't like you. I don't like you

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