im in jail for stapling a bunch of money together. i wish i had the bail money

wint

Just sold my soul to satan for 1 million dollars

Ranboo

Twitter is not the place for important discussions

Elon Musk

Tesla & SpaceX are proof that America can still do great things. Don’t stop believing.

If Democrats had their way, they would...
1. Dismiss the trials, claiming they were rigged.
2. Start a civil rights movement against whites.
3. Require police to wear dashcams.
4. Call Republicans fascists.
5. Demand reparations.
6. Demand criminal

Ben Shapiro

A crazy day, got super drunk, drank some bad beer, had an epic tongue twister, lost my voice, got a cold, drank some bad whiskey, lost my voice, got a fever, drank some bad bourbon, lost my voice, had an epic tongue twister, got my arm cut off, drank some bad beer, lost my voice, got my throat cut open, drank some

vinny

I am truly sorry and apologize to everyone I have let down and disappointed.

just found out my parents have been lying about being dead for 22 years. i still love you mom and dad.

TommyInnit

omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg

Wilbur Soot

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

Jack Butcher

The “no one’s going to care” meme is hilarious to me. Like, obviously people care. Like, if someone says “no one’s going to care” to me, I’m going to care. Because I care about things

Big Joel

tfw, you wait 10 years for a 10 year reunion then realize 10 years isnt even enough

I been talking to my fans (the real fans)

okay, so this video is gonna be about george, and I wanna talk about george, because today is not George Day, it’s George Day, so I’m gonna talk about george today, okay

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