im getting so tired of jordan peterson that im gonna start calling him jordan jenkins

wint

imagine if all the memes were real. they'd still be memes

i dont get why u dont just buy urself a 9/11 santa suit and wear it on 9/11

prezoh

the best way not to get fired is to never work

andrewchen

i feel like i should feel guilty for doing this but i definitely dont

henry/myriad: mind funeral

im in jail for stapling a bunch of money together. i wish i had the bail money

my mother just asked me if I was ok and I told her I was perfect

dream

Anarcho-Capitalism is not a political ideology. It is a description of the human animal.

Elon Musk

A girl asked “why are you so short?”

I said “because I am”

She said “well why do you keep hitting me in the head”

I said “because you’re taller than me”

She said “but I’m a girl”

I said “what difference does that make”

She said “I’m going to report you”

I said “well go ahead”

Ranboo

America, I’m back and what’s more I’m armed and dangerous.

TommyInnit

good afternoon everyone, this is your last chance...

Jack Butcher

i wish i could just accost people on the street and be like “hey, you’re handsome”

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