poisonjr
@poisonjrive had 2 alphas ask me out in my life. 1 was a girl and the other was a man. I was 14 and 17 respectively. I wasnt even attracted to either of them.
poisonjr
@poisonjr1.2 billion white people 1.2 billion black people 1.2 billion white people 1.2 billion black people
poisonjr
@poisonjrI just wanna get really good at finding expired coupons, I just wanna get a good enough job to afford rent, I just wanna find a nice girl, I just wanna find the love of my life, I just wanna get high, I just wanna be a good parent, I just wanna get in shape, I just wanna be a better
poisonjr
@poisonjrif your cat has 4 legs, is big and fluffy, and is sleeping on your chest, and you hear a noise that sounds like someone crying, and your cat jumps up and runs under the bed, and then you hear the same noise again, and your cat is terrified, and you hear it again, and your cat is terrified again, and your cat is hiding under the bed, and you hear it, and your cat is hiding under the bed
poisonjr
@poisonjrever notice how the word dad is just sad backwards? just learned that i can't get a pet wolf because they wouldn't be able to handle my vibe why do people say till the cows come home? do cows ever even leave? thinking about starting a support group for people who have accidentally insulted their pets if you're not watching reality tv with the subtitles on, you're missing out just realized my phone autocorrects hangry to whiskey sometimes i think about how birds must see us and i feel like i'm in a simulation cat people vs. dog people: discuss looking for a new podcast to binge, any recommendations? i've never been more invested in someone's relationship than the couple arguing at the table next to me can we all agree that pineapple does NOT belong on pizza?
poisonjr
@poisonjrwhat happen to yalls easter egg hunt? i don't know i just threw the whole thing away
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TommyInnit
@tommyinnitjust found out my parents have been lying about being dead for 22 years. i still love you mom and dad.
Ranbalt
@ranaltbooRanboo had a dream that he got fired and woke up crying. Woke up to reality and realized it wasn’t a dream.
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