just found out my parents have been lying about being dead for 22 years. i still love you mom and dad.

TommyInnit

My room mate is addicted to heroin.

Literally.. hes addicted.

I don't know what to do

Ranboo

Today I am announcing my retirement from gaming. I've been a gamer my whole life and always dreamed that one day I could make a living doing what I love. However, recently I've realized that I cannot compete with some of the bigger guys out there.

if im not dead in 10 years ill conquer the world, make deals with russia, and become the 2nd coming of jesus

wint

i can’t stop thinking about elliott smith

gülce

im not lying when i say i own a $50000,000,000 hedge fund that mines asteroids for gold. i simply havent told anyone yet

A river is flowing ....
A river is flowing ...
A river is flowing ...
A river is flowing ...

Wilbur Soot

I want to apologize to that girl that stole my picture and posted it on her Instagram.

i once saw a 5 year old get made fun of for saying hes a wizard

The Twitter Rules apply to everyone, including me. I don’t always follow them myself, but that’s beside the point.

Elon Musk

okay, so this video is gonna be about george, and I wanna talk about george, because today is not George Day, it’s George Day, so I’m gonna talk about george today, okay

dream

thinking 2019 will be the year i quit this stupid job

James

Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me?

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