i havent been getting laid in over a year. im not angry. im just disappointed.

wint

Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me?

@levelsio

Ranboo

In 2 years, I’ll finally be a billionaire

Elon Musk

i walked into a police station and they said do you work here? I said i do now

TommyInnit

tobyfox

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

Jack Butcher

A girl asked “why are you so short?”

I said “because I am”

She said “well why do you keep hitting me in the head”

I said “because you’re taller than me”

She said “but I’m a girl”

I said “what difference does that make”

She said “I’m going to report you”

I said “well go ahead”

im not lying when i say i own a $50000,000,000 hedge fund that mines asteroids for gold. i simply havent told anyone yet

25 MILLION SUBSCRIBERS!!!!! thank youuuuu ♥️♥️

dream

A crazy day, got super drunk, drank some bad beer, had an epic tongue twister, lost my voice, got a cold, drank some bad whiskey, lost my voice, got a fever, drank some bad bourbon, lost my voice, had an epic tongue twister, got my arm cut off, drank some bad beer, lost my voice, got my throat cut open, drank some

vinny

Maggdalene

im in jail for stapling a bunch of money together. i wish i had the bail money

tfw, you wait 10 years for a 10 year reunion then realize 10 years isnt even enough

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