dream

im getting so tired of jordan peterson that im gonna start calling him jordan jenkins

wint

i once saw a 5 year old get made fun of for saying hes a wizard

Went to a weed shop for the first time in my life and couldn’t believe how much weed costs.

I feel old.

Ranboo

ive been lying in bed all day thinking about how i hate math

david 🧋

ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME

i wonder if the cia will let me bring a kitten into the office

I don't like you. I don't like you. I don't like you

Shaan Puri

just found out my parents have been lying about being dead for 22 years. i still love you mom and dad.

TommyInnit

my 2 year old is watching me play minecraft and im like ok, Im going to kill this dragon and he goes no daddy, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

im in jail for stapling a bunch of money together. i wish i had the bail money

When you die, if you get to choose between going to regular heaven or pie heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick, but if it's not, then eternal happiness is better than eternal nothingness.

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