After years of praying to god I finally have my answer.

Thank you lord

Ranboo

im not lying when i say i own a $50000,000,000 hedge fund that mines asteroids for gold. i simply havent told anyone yet

wint

Just sold my soul to satan for 1 million dollars

Just walked by a guy with 10 different phones and 10 different headphones

Ryan Letourneau

Yesterday I went to Google HQ with a fake bomb threat and a bunch of cops showed up. (I got escorted out). They told me that Google has a zero-tolerance policy regarding bomb threats, and that if I make another bomb threat in the next six months I will permanently be banned from Google.

Keffals

My room mate is addicted to heroin.

Literally.. hes addicted.

I don't know what to do

I want to apologize to that girl that stole my picture and posted it on her Instagram.

This is me, and anyone who disagrees with me is a bot.

Elon Musk

ive met a dude who hasnt said bro once. im impressed. hes very woke

i once saw a 5 year old get made fun of for saying hes a wizard

Sometimes, you just have to be really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really

Lenny Rachitsky

i heard there's a queen elizabeth ii doll that you can buy at Target. thats kind of cool

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