my 2 year old is watching me play minecraft and im like ok, Im going to kill this dragon and he goes no daddy, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

wint

Went to a weed shop for the first time in my life and couldn’t believe how much weed costs.

I feel old.

Ranboo

A river is flowing ....
A river is flowing ...
A river is flowing ...
A river is flowing ...

Wilbur Soot

Mark

i wish i could just accost people on the street and be like “hey, you’re handsome”

david 🧋

After years of praying to god I finally have my answer.

Thank you lord

ive met a dude who hasnt said bro once. im impressed. hes very woke

A girl asked “why are you so short?”

I said “because I am”

She said “well why do you keep hitting me in the head”

I said “because you’re taller than me”

She said “but I’m a girl”

I said “what difference does that make”

She said “I’m going to report you”

I said “well go ahead”

im not lying when i say i own a $50000,000,000 hedge fund that mines asteroids for gold. i simply havent told anyone yet

...i'm not saying we can never make another star wars movie but if we do, i'm dead...

Morgan 🏳️‍⚧️ (doom patrol enjoyer)

1.2 billion white people 1.2 billion black people 1.2 billion white people 1.2 billion black people

gale na

dream

A $100 bill isn’t worth anything. You can frame it, but that’s about it.

Elon Musk

the best way not to get fired is to never work

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