thinking 2019 will be the year i quit this stupid job

James

I’m gonna be on Venus, and Venus is gonna be on Venus.

Jerma

i’ve been asleep for 20 hours. i’m pretty sure i have no brain function anymore.

Cybertruck will be amphibious for short distances, able to travel between small islands

i’ve run out of reasons to NOT pee my pants

i may be an 8 but im a 8 thats pretty hot

1.2 billion white people 1.2 billion black people 1.2 billion white people 1.2 billion black people

Left my keys in an Uber. I guess this makes me a Dumbass

If Twitter gets sold, I will shut it down & move to Gab

omg queen elizabeth i still remember the day you were born

Twitter should be banned, because free speech is more important than making money

omg I’m getting a hair cut 😂😂😂

“My parents wanted me to be a doctor or a lawyer so I studied science...” - that doctor is gonna be dead in 5 years