TommyInnit
@tommyinnit
just found out my parents have been lying about being dead for 22 years. i still love you mom and dad.
wint
@dril
my 2 year old is watching me play minecraft and im like ok, Im going to kill this dragon and he goes no daddy, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
wint
@dril
if im not dead in 10 years ill conquer the world, make deals with russia, and become the 2nd coming of jesus
Ryan Letourneau
@Northernlion
Now this just in, the 2 year old's birthday party was a success, they ate 16 salmon salad sandwiches, ate 12 pieces of cake, and drank 2 pitchers of juice
wint
@dril
im in jail for stapling a bunch of money together. i wish i had the bail money
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