You are allowed to piss on anyone you want now.

Mark

good afternoon everyone, this is your last chance...

Jack Butcher

i dont get why u dont just buy urself a 9/11 santa suit and wear it on 9/11

wint

the FBI just kicked my door in looking for the 2 fugitives, 2 fugitives?!?

tehlamb

I want to apologize to that girl that stole my picture and posted it on her Instagram.

Ranboo

Today I am announcing my retirement from gaming. I've been a gamer my whole life and always dreamed that one day I could make a living doing what I love. However, recently I've realized that I cannot compete with some of the bigger guys out there.

i walked into a police station and they said do you work here? I said i do now

TommyInnit

George

We will protect religious freedom and a woman’s right to choose.

President Biden

just found out my parents have been lying about being dead for 22 years. i still love you mom and dad.

Left my keys in an Uber. I guess this makes me a Dumbass

so tbh, i’ve never hated anyone as much as i do taylor swift.

david 🧋

Last September I came out as gay and ever since then my life has been amazing. I have met tons of new people and I have become a better me. However, I started to realize that recently I was changing. I was becoming someone I hate. Someone who doesn’t care about other people and only cares about himself. Someone who puts himself before his friends. And that’s the kind of person I don’t want to be. So, while I am still gay, I am going back to the closet.

Tweet Hunter

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