just realized i’ve been taking laxatives since high school

david 🧋

im gonna start a business selling Ketchup of Sadness

wint

my mother just asked me if I was ok and I told her I was perfect

dream

Mark

im not lying when i say i own a $50000,000,000 hedge fund that mines asteroids for gold. i simply havent told anyone yet

obama's 2008 acceptance speech was the 1st time i cried watching a president speak.

hasanabi

A SHORT STORY SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT

Wilbur Soot

1 MONTH AND 5 DAYS AGO WE WERE TALKING ABOUT HOW MUCH WE LOVED THIS GAME.

Quackity

i wish i could just accost people on the street and be like “hey, you’re handsome”

2016: minecraft is life. 2017: minecraft is life. 2018: minecraft is life. 2019: minecraft is life. 2020: minecraft is life. 2021: minecraft is life. 2022: minecraft is life. 2023: minecraft is life. 2024: minecraft

TommyInnit

Went to a weed shop for the first time in my life and couldn’t believe how much weed costs.

I feel old.

Ranboo

if im not dead in 10 years ill conquer the world, make deals with russia, and become the 2nd coming of jesus

just realized the 2 highest grossing movies of all time are ice age and ice age 2

Ryan Letourneau

My room mate is addicted to heroin.

Literally.. hes addicted.

I don't know what to do

everyone, the moment you die, remember that this moment is exactly HOW IT SHOULD BE

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