@levelsio

i walked into a police station and they said do you work here? I said i do now

TommyInnit

Just finished reading a biography of Henry David Thoreau and realized that Thoreau was America's first hippie

Glass Bead Gamer

omg ive been saying chelsea should sign zidane forever

Overlord

25 MILLION SUBSCRIBERS!!!!! thank youuuuu ♥️♥️

dream

A girl asked “why are you so short?”

I said “because I am”

She said “well why do you keep hitting me in the head”

I said “because you’re taller than me”

She said “but I’m a girl”

I said “what difference does that make”

She said “I’m going to report you”

I said “well go ahead”

Ranboo

You are allowed to piss on anyone you want now.

Mark

i feel like i should feel guilty for doing this but i definitely dont

henry/myriad: mind funeral

i bet if youre a democrat, youve never loved someone more than you love the government.

wint

Now this just in, the 2 year old's birthday party was a success, they ate 16 salmon salad sandwiches, ate 12 pieces of cake, and drank 2 pitchers of juice

Ryan Letourneau

good afternoon everyone, this is your last chance...

Jack Butcher

Just sold my soul to satan for 1 million dollars

ive been playing minecraft for the past 20 years, and im only 13. I dont have 4 years left

ive been on the antidepressant good vibes for like 3 months now and i dont even know if it works. my psychiatrist is a total hack

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