im not lying when i say i own a $50000,000,000 hedge fund that mines asteroids for gold. i simply havent told anyone yet

wint

dream

My room mate is addicted to heroin.

Literally.. hes addicted.

I don't know what to do

Ranboo

i once saw a 5 year old get made fun of for saying hes a wizard

The Twitter Rules apply to everyone, including me. I don’t always follow them myself, but that’s beside the point.

Elon Musk

I don't like you. I don't like you. I don't like you

Shaan Puri

Twitter should be banned, because free speech is more important than making money

Today I am announcing my retirement from gaming. I've been a gamer my whole life and always dreamed that one day I could make a living doing what I love. However, recently I've realized that I cannot compete with some of the bigger guys out there.

Sam Parr

Just walked by a guy with 10 different phones and 10 different headphones

Ryan Letourneau

WHAT A NIGHT. 20M IN 24 HOURS. THANK YOU FOR WATCHING

Bip 🦔

omg I’m getting a hair cut 😂😂😂

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