my 2 year old is watching me play minecraft and im like ok, Im going to kill this dragon and he goes no daddy, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

wint

I don't like you. I don't like you. I don't like you

Shaan Puri

Went to a weed shop for the first time in my life and couldn’t believe how much weed costs.

I feel old.

Ranboo

George

BREAKING: senator joe biden has tested positive for covid

transgender marx

i died 2 years ago & im still here, i remeber everything (except for 9/11)

“I feel really offended when you make jokes about white guys because you just look like every white guy” - a white guy

Vaush 🇺🇸 🇧🇫

the best way not to get fired is to never work

andrewchen

Sam Parr

Last September I came out as gay and ever since then my life has been amazing. I have met tons of new people and I have become a better me. However, I started to realize that recently I was changing. I was becoming someone I hate. Someone who doesn’t care about other people and only cares about himself. Someone who puts himself before his friends. And that’s the kind of person I don’t want to be. So, while I am still gay, I am going back to the closet.

im in jail for stapling a bunch of money together. i wish i had the bail money

Twitter should be banned, because free speech is more important than making money

Elon Musk

if im not dead in 10 years ill conquer the world, make deals with russia, and become the 2nd coming of jesus

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