A girl asked “why are you so short?”

I said “because I am”

She said “well why do you keep hitting me in the head”

I said “because you’re taller than me”

She said “but I’m a girl”

I said “what difference does that make”

She said “I’m going to report you”

I said “well go ahead”

Ranboo

just realized i’ve been taking laxatives since high school

david 🧋

I’M NOT ALLOWED TO SAY WHATEVER I WANT ... BUT I’M ALLOWED TO SAY WHATEVER I WANT

Now this just in, the 2 year old's birthday party was a success, they ate 16 salmon salad sandwiches, ate 12 pieces of cake, and drank 2 pitchers of juice

Ryan Letourneau

thinking 2019 will be the year i quit this stupid job

James

Tubbo

Elon Musk

I actually really like Pulisic, he’s a well rounded player. He’s good in attack, good in defence and has a bit of pace

Zi🤟🏿

Sam Parr

A SHORT STORY SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT

Wilbur Soot

i once saw a 5 year old get made fun of for saying hes a wizard

wint

just realized the 2 highest grossing movies of all time are ice age and ice age 2

polar

i bet if youre a democrat, youve never loved someone more than you love the government.

ive been on the antidepressant good vibes for like 3 months now and i dont even know if it works. my psychiatrist is a total hack

Tweet Hunter

Generate Tweets like @takeme2hobbiton with AI

Generate tweets on the same tone and same topic than @takeme2hobbiton with our AI Twitter Tool

Last Generated Tweets by the community

Want to drive more opportunities from Twitter?