Ranbalt

im in jail for stapling a bunch of money together. i wish i had the bail money

wint

Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me?

@levelsio

Whenever someone criticizes capitalism, I can’t help but think of this:

The 2020 Tesla Roadster will be the fastest production car ever made. With 0 to 60 mph in 1.9 sec, 620 mile range, and 10,000 lb of downforce via active suspension, it will be the first true 21st century car. Production begins in 2020, so order

Elon Musk

my mother just asked me if I was ok and I told her I was perfect

dream

i died 2 years ago & im still here, i remeber everything (except for 9/11)

Sometimes, you just have to be really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really

Lenny Rachitsky

im not lying when i say i own a $50000,000,000 hedge fund that mines asteroids for gold. i simply havent told anyone yet

A girl asked “why are you so short?”

I said “because I am”

She said “well why do you keep hitting me in the head”

I said “because you’re taller than me”

She said “but I’m a girl”

I said “what difference does that make”

She said “I’m going to report you”

I said “well go ahead”

Ranboo

ive met a dude who hasnt said bro once. im impressed. hes very woke

...i'm not saying we can never make another star wars movie but if we do, i'm dead...

Morgan 🏳️‍⚧️ (doom patrol enjoyer)

Last September I came out as gay and ever since then my life has been amazing. I have met tons of new people and I have become a better me. However, I started to realize that recently I was changing. I was becoming someone I hate. Someone who doesn’t care about other people and only cares about himself. Someone who puts himself before his friends. And that’s the kind of person I don’t want to be. So, while I am still gay, I am going back to the closet.

When was the last time you felt really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really

Sam Parr

just found out my parents have been lying about being dead for 22 years. i still love you mom and dad.

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